When you do something daily, in comes the monotony and boredom of it all. Take traveling as an example. The daily drudgery of making a one hour journey to college in this wild summer heat is a proposition that doesn’t make me want to wake up from the comfort of my cozy bed. But this is something I cannot really wish away so I naturally hunt for some comic relief in my daily traveling expeditions. And there’s no better place in Delhi than our very own Metro Line that provides me with the much needed rib- tickling-hilariously-funny moments. Its pure unadulterated fun on most days to notice the traveling etiquette's of Saddi Dilli Ke Dilliwale*.

A variety of people travel daily in the metro but what excites me is that EVERYDAY I get to view mannerisms that swing from being outrageous to being bubblegum cute. It really amazes me sometime that people are at times totally unaware that people are sniggering, staring and scrutinizing them because of their Wohoo-I-am-the-only-one-travelling-in-this-train attitude. Take for instance, Loud Music; it plays havoc with my nervous system. I mean excuse me; this is Metro The Train and not Metro The Dance Club. There I will be immersed in my reading and suddenly KABOOM, I hear the highly obnoxious nasal twang of Himesh or a recent Haryanvi track that Shaadis in Dilli can’t get enough of. I notice a few people sympathizing with me and with each other but no one bothers to speak up. Knowing the sky high aggression levels of Delhites, no one really wants to pick up a fight first thing in the morning. Who knows, one might be stabbed for even suggesting toning down the volume from that peackcock blue colored funky Nokia mobile phone. But fortunately I once had a grandpa like Sardarji who glared down and roared at a skinny young lad who literally shivered at the much deserved verbal whack for being totally inconsiderate by playing ear splitting music. I’m sure he must have thrown his funky phone away after that scolding and swore never to play his awesomely cool playlist again.


At times what really deserves a kick on the rear is the attitude of a few people towards OBVIOUSLY pregnant women and senior citizens. I go through mixed emotions when I observe an indifferent behavior by commuters towards them. I can’t decide whether to feel amused by their tactics of avoidance or feel genuinely sorry to see the plight of women and senior citizens who really do need a seat much more than they do. Its funny to notice that a few people pretend to sleep, eyes firmly shut and heads down whenever they see (Yes they do see before the drama starts) a woman with a baby or a senior citizen. I say, why don’t they just start drooling and swing their head to and fro for extra effect. At times, people just make an extremely tired face all with the scrunching and screwing of the forehead and nose to let people know that they are too worn out to stand. Funny though, when it comes to their own Sheela-Leela-Sunny or Bunty they don’t mind jumping from their seat in a split second.


I must add that the most coveted prize should go to squatting on the metro floor. I don’t understand, during peak hours when people are packed like sardines and are squeezed to the extent that some feel breathless; some absolutely intelligent people squat on the floor to make space for themselves. At times families of eight to ten people with their dinosaur sized luggage enter the compartment and swallow half of the train floor space. Imagine an entire football team lying comfortable on the floor when other commuters’ are literally spilling out of the train roof and are about to touch the moon. This is when the anger of Dilliwalas* is released and people pretty bluntly ask them to move their butt up and stand like everyone else. Fortunately, I have never really encountered a fight regarding this but I remember digging my kitten heel into the foot of this absolutely ill mannered guy who rolled his legs down straight on the floor. Naturally, I just said sorry but the displeasure on my face was evident.


Sigh, If only people learned some basic lessons in how to behave, stand, talk and walk in a Metro compartment. My plea to the Delhi Government; I propose a crash course in Metro Travel Etiquette to be made absolutely compulsory.


* Saadi Dilli Ke Dilliwale - People of My Delhi
* Dilliwale- Delhiites