Addicted to Happiness

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.

-David Steindl Rust

Cribbing,complaining,crying,bawling...Ugh!How it puts everyone around us down? Sometimes I feel we just focus so hard on the everything that looks like a dud , that Mr.Dud seems like he is the most important thing in life at the moment.

Especially me, I would just turn into a nervous wreck if things don't go my way. If a teeny weeny itsy bitsy ant sized problem comes my way I would go stark raving mad.Of course, with age comes wisdom and I have learnt not to develop a lunatice-throwing-things-all-around-kinda fit anytime things don't happen the way I'v planned them.Im more re-active than pro-active. Just makes me realize that sometimes I should just see the numerous possiblilties instead of all thats upside down in my imagination.

Countless books ,audio/video tapes,seminars,workshops have been read,conducted,listened to,admired,appreciated but this whole Positive thinking never really got into my head till I started applying it. Im going to be a graduate pretty soon and I cant help but be amazed at how tension seems to hover all around me.From all directions I just notice worried and at times comical expressions. Funnily, I'm going through a very calm phase. A HAPPY, POSITIVE phase. My Lord just whispers into my heart "Its all gonna be alright, Im the one holding you" and all worries seen to melt away. A prayer is all I need to get my energies back up. :)

Meditating on the wonders and inherent goodness of God makes me realize how much he cares for me and In His hands nothing can go wrong. He created me to be successful, joyous, beautiful and worthy of love because after all God does not create junk. He created us in His image and in his likeness. I say these lines to my myself and have them stuck on my brain like Post-it notes.

This happiness cannot be explained and His peace is truly beyond my understanding. Of one thing Im sure that God has a great wonderful plan for my future and eventually I will figure it out with His help.

Worrying about something that is beyond my control is a waste because it wont provide me with a solution and it wont stop trouble coming my way. So why worry anyway?. Not that I believe in going with the flow and accepting life the way it is going. Its just in Him I feel bold enough to try a few things and see what works best:)..He gives me the strength to deal with uncertainities and during times of trouble he will be my Refuge.

My reason for Happiness Addiction is Jesus. I love you Lord:)...

Sunday Afternoon..Lazy Sunday afternoon!

"Slow down, you crazy child you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day "

- Billy Joel, Vienna

Neeeeeeehhhhaaaaaaaa...Palm sunday today...Wake up you twit..(Ok that was for extra effect)

Mother screams my name at the top of her voice and I'm sure people in my neighborhood were thrown out of their beds, their bells stopped ringing in the middle of daily devotion and hot milk overflowed because Mrs. Saileja next door was busy paying attention. At times I feel "Oh Mom just let it be" especially keeping in mind how busy I like to keep my weekends. The problem with me is I just cant stay still.I have to engage myself in some little project or the other.ALWAYS.My mind runs at 1000 miles a minute because im always planning the next BIG thing even while Im still doing the NEXT BIG THING which I planned five minutes ago.

Mom always complains saying "Will you just slow down for a minute and hang out in the house like an unleashed donkey; if being like that works best for you?" Well thats exactly what im doing today.Absolute stillness.The joy of nothing-ness.I woke up late at 12.Prayed.Read.Slept some more.Cuddled my mother.Helped out in the kitchen.Oh, and I PLAN (HAHA) to make banana cake today.And this was after a long long time. I guess sometimes its just better to slow down and take things easy. I'v always been in a rush.Doing this.Doing that.

I remember this one time I went totally Nuts-zoid trying to be a cross between Superwoman and Wonderwoman.Oh boy, I had to have it all!So, I signed up for one and a half hours of yoga,one hour dance ,one hour swimming classes and add to the crazy mix my college and studies. College and studies usually took half of my day because of ongoing projects. My Haalaat* at that time is comaparable to a cleaner version of Amy Winehouse. Everything was happening so fast , at breakneck speed that I ended up breaking more than my neck! Honestly , now that I look back I wish I had EXERCISED(pun unintended) more restraint.

I wish I had taken time to enjoy one thing at a time , instead a grabbing everything that was in front of me. Now, I don't want to sound like an old woman who has thirteen cats in her house and hasn't lived her life. All I want to say is I wish I had lived more during that time instead of rushing into things. Not that I regret it because it taught me a great lesson about how PRECIOUS , how wonderful is this gift called TIME. God blesses each day of our lives with this beautiful gift called TIME and since we go through life only once its better you enjoy every moment before its gone:)

And yeah, I will attend Palm Sunday Mass.In the evening though:)

*Haalaat - Condition

Darling..Its Christmas Morning..!:)

I was a fascinated excited toothless three year old when I got my first Christmas present from Santa .Oh!How charmed I was by the grandfatherly pot bellied man who surprised me every year with a box full of gifts.I never believed in the tooth fairy as much as I believed in Santa.

I would take out my colour pencils/pen/sketch pen or anything beautiful and pretty to write with and write down my wishes on a brown paper.

I would smile,laugh,jump,grin and have any expression closely related to happiness while preparing my ever-so-precious list of want-to-have. Even mums gorgeous freshly baked cake lost its appeal when it came to making my wish list.It was always an emotional experience because I would be anxious waiting for Christmas morning to arrive from the day I would sit down to dream about my gifts.

Today when I was talking to mom about it I realized how much I miss those days.Yes!I realized Santa exists only in Disney and Cartoon Network.Though I cant recall when exactly realization struck.It just happened automatically.I came to know later when my grey cells got activated that all the while it was daddy dearest who would sneak in my wonderful little gift and place it in front of the christmas tree.He never dressed up as Santa and I never caught him placing gifts.He just remained his usual groggy self at 2 in the night and would tip toe into our tiny room to keep our gifts at their rightful place ; later I came to know through Mom.

So my Santa was a tall,thin, moustached man who carried packed boxes of gifts for my sister and I.No red dress, no big black belt, no rudolph and definitely no white beard.

I want those days back when my eyes would twinkle at the mention of Christmas morning.No doubt, Im still excited just that the situations are different.Now christmas morning means getting up late in the morning, travelling to visit friends and relatives, sharing food and cakes and other things.Just as good but never the same :)

I wish I could still place empty stockings at my door and wait for a miracle to happen:)